Half Way

This past Thursday marked the half-way point of my materntiy leave. Palmer is six weeks old. As is always the case, the time has flown by. I feel so lucky to realize that this is the case and I am absolutley savoring every single moment. I'm also reminded of it every time I see my boys together. Connor is SO big--he's an actual BOY now, not a little boy anymore. And it shocks me to see how much he's grown. He was out in the driveway with Bob last night and they were setting off fireworks. I was in the upstairs bedroom watching from the window with the baby, so I couldn't hear any sounds. Because of that I could really just watch body language and I noticed Connor's very acutely. He moves like a grown person now. There's no child-like tentativeness about him now. He's confident and authoritative in command of his physical presence. I guess I never really noticed this as a change that comes with the movement from young childhood to older, but I definitely recongize it now.

Palmer is thriving. He's a pleasant, sweet baby. Of course, right now, his primary goal is to breastfeed as much and as often as possible. I wander around the house in a wet shirt much of the time. He, unlike his brother, has had no problems "latching on" and I am making a plethora of milk. He hasn't had formula at all, except for a few times in the hospital before my milk came in. I am absolutely delighted by this. (That picture above is Connor feeding him some pumped milk for the first time--which Connor really enjoyed.) Feeding Connor was such an emotional roller coaster--he couldn't latch on. I didn't make enough milk. I couldn't pump any milk. That's not to say that its all clover fields and and water troughs on my dairy farm over here. Palmer has some pretty significant intestinal gas issues. And by significant, I mean PAINFUL. He screws up his face into a big red knot and screams with every single fart. As a result, and because we figured out too late that Connor had a similar issue, I have given up dairy food in order to reduce lactose and the protein that causes milk sensitivity in babies-sodium caseinate. It seems to be working and though he still suffers through regular gas passing--the duration and intensity of the agony are much less when I don't eat dairy. Thought it sounds fairly straightforward, its a challenge because milk is in so many things. I won't go into a big list here, because it makes me sound resentful and I'm not. I'd give up anything if it made Palmer happier and caused less pain.

Palmer is also proving to be fairly flexible. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that with positive influence from his family, that will continue. He goes everywhere with us and seldom fusses. I shopped for 90 minutes yesterday with Connor at Costco and Palmer slept through the whole thing. Later in the day I went to the Home store, AC Moore, and Harris Teeter with barely a peep out of him. As long as he's fed, he's happy. I do notice, though, that he's not a fan of his car seat if the seat is NOT moving. Connor wasn't like this--he loved being rolledup in that car seat. So, I've learned not to put him in the bucket until we're really walking out the door. And of course, if we're shopping and he's in the bucket, there is no lingering around to read labels or gaze at things. Grab your product and keep the cart moving is the mantra.

And of course, the big question everyone asks when you have a newborn is "Does he sleep through the night?" OF COURSE NOT. He's a breastfed baby. That means no big bottles at bedtime to tide him over. That means that the snacking continues. He does sleep well, though. He spaces out his hunger a little further to 2.5-3 hours at night. And once he eats for about 10 minutes, he falls right back to sleep. So, its not that awful. I have my iPod and I watch TV shows during the night when he's awake or when I can't fall back to sleep. Palmer and I have set up camp in the guest bedroom so that Bob can get a good night's sleep--its not like he could get up and feed the baby for me, so why should we wake him? We have a nice little nest, the baby bird and me.

Speaking of sleeping, this is another thing that is different than it was with Connor in that we are making a concerted effort to keep Palmer sleeping independently. I'm doing this out of love and respect for my husband and to maintain marital harmony---not because I necessarily think its the right thing to do. I believe in the family bed and I think its horrific to force little babies to sleep alone. No disrespect to those of you that do--you have to do what works for you and getting sleep is very important. But I never found sleeping with my child disturbing to my rest--quite the opposite. Connor slept better and as a result, so did I. However, when he got bigger it was an issue (kicking, rolling, etc.) and it was somewhat difficult to move him out AND he still is conquering the "going to sleep alone" thing. So, the compromise is that Palmer is in a co-sleeper NEXT to the bed with the eventual intention to move him to his crib if its not traumatic for him. Actually, he fell asleep in his crib the other night. I found Connor's mobile in the basement an hooked it up and Palmer seems to love it. Anyway, we're finding our way through the sleeping issues just like everyone does with a new baby.

The next six weeks will fly by just as fast. We've got them packed with a trip to NJ, baseball camp for Connor, and two full weeks in Orlando where Palmer will get to meet his other family. Then, when we return we have two weeks to get ready for the new normal. I hope those ladies at Wesfields are ready for Tater Tot--The Sequel!

Overall, I have found Palmer's babyhood to be much easier than Connor's. Though, I think that has alot to do with the "you know what you're doing" factor, I also think that my overall attitude is much more relaxed. Season that with the fact that I KNOW I'll never have another baby to enjoy and it makes the things that freak you out and wear you out much more tolerable. But when those moments come, I sing this song in my head and they pass quickly. Because I really do know that it won't be like this for long.