White Stuff

Connor got a really cute snowman kit from his cousins for Christmas. We finally got to use it today. I had to replace the giant plastic carrot it came with for a real one. The big one was just too phallic looking. The teenage girls next door came right out with it and told me it was really disturbing! Too funny. This skinny, natural carrot made everyone feel more at ease...

Lost Day

Today was lost. Gone. Wasted. A stolen victim of the bane of my existence since kindergarten: The Headache. It's name does not describe it well. "Ache" implies a soft-edge to the sensation. The Headaches that visit me have no such soft edge.

All my life, they have been there, like a threatening storm. I remember coming home from school as a child with my head pounding and my mom putting cold, wet washcloths on my forehead while I rested in agony on the couch in the living room, light sneaking in through the curtains. I don't remember them being common or profound during high-school, but in my 20's and early 30's they were incredibly bad.

I've had CT scans and MRIs of my brain. I've tried various medications with limited success. I used Imitrex when it first came out as an injectable. My headaches were so bad at that time that the first time the nurse opened the needle for me and began to instruct me about how I would inject it, I barely let her finish and snatched it from her hand and plunged it into my thigh muscle. It worked GREAT and my migraine would be gone in 20 minutes. But after a few years I had to stop taking it because it started causing me to go into atrial fibrillation. Since then, I have not tried another prescription medication for migraines.

Connor was a gift. When I was pregnant my headaches disappeared. Gone. And the old ones, the bad bad migraines, have not really come back. But now I get profound and disabling tension headaches that seem to be triggered by back and neck tension that grows and spreads up the back of my head, over one ear, and into my face. They are not the same as the migranes--the light and sound sensitivity is not there. They are different, but they are just as bad.

When I wake up with one, I am doomed. Today I was doomed and I knew it the moment my eyes cracked open. Tiger Balm, ice packs, hot pads, hot bath, muscle relaxant, anti-inflammatory--all for naught. The right side of my face literally felt like a rotten fruit. I could barely stand to touch it. The muscles in my cheek and jaw were knotted up. It hurt to smile. And its hard to live with Connor and have it hurt to smile.

When I feel like this I am useless to all. Today Bob had to work and I was a subsistence mother. All I can manage is to insure that there are no knives or open flame in the area. Connor knows how I feel and he is sympathetic. He checks on me and pats my knee. But he's also old enough now to realize the opportunity my disablement presents to him in the way of freedom. While I moved in agony from chair, to couch, to tub, to bed, he lived downstairs like a street urchin. Three bags of Little Bites banana chocolate chip muffins for breakfast, YooHoo, candy canes, and microwave pizza before 1pm.

What I really need to do when the Headache comes it to go to sleep. But, I can't really sleep when I'm home alone with him because I feel like I have to at least listen for choking or crackling flames. Today I actually was reduced to calling Bob, in near hysteria, and begging him to please come home. Once he did, and once I slept for two hours, the Headache seemed to loose its grip. Ahhhh.

They're seeming to come more often. So, it will be back to basics for me. A new headache diary, maybe a new office chair at work (mine is 14 years old!), and maybe a visit to the chiropractor. Hopefully, tomorrow will not be wasted.

Detox Just To Retox Gives You Hell

My two favorite songs right now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK0b59clD_k


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtQderzYYvk

Pantry Redux

We spent alot of time and a fair amount of $$ this week applying our favorite space storage solution ( elfa! ) to the kitchen pantry. The project began last weekend when Connor and I unloaded the whole darn thing and created piles of foodstuffs and household products on every available surface in the kitchen and dining area. I didn't get a true "before" photo, but in this first one you can see my little handyman removing the last few of the old shelf brackets.

During the week Bob spackled. I used the Container Store's on-line space design process to choose the elfa components. It was great. A designer called me and we made changes, etc. Then, on Friday we took the design and product sheet to the Tysons Corner store where we tweaked it a bit more, ordered it, grabbed a quick bite at Cafe Deluxe, and picked up the whole shebang an hour after ordering it.

Bob sanded and primed on Friday night and painted it on Saturday. Since we only had a bare lightbulb in there and since we decided to paint the space a medium taupe color, we decided a new fixture was a good idea and picked up this great $20 double spot at Home Depot. Yes, I know, those are regular light bulbs. Sorry Al Gore!!

Here's a shot of the system installed. And can I just say that I am in deep, deep love with the cart idea. All my spices are in the top two drawers and all the ZipLocks, aluminum foil, Cling Wrap, parchment paper, and trash bags are in the bottom two. Those are things that drove me nuts on the shelves because they were always a mess.

And here it is loaded up. I want to replace those burgundy Tupperware containers with something else. That's the "Snack Shop" where things are divided into Good, Kinda Bad, and Ugly. Hard to believe, but the space is tall and there are THREE MORE shelves above what you see here. Those are loaded up with seldom used items (cupcake tower, turkey roaster) and serving platters and bowls. There are still alot of empty spaces up there and I am delighted with how it turned out.

I'll wrap this up with a special shout out to Bob for doing all the hard work. Thanks, Schmoop!

Protect The Egg

Connor asked for a story last night. When he does this I don't make up fairytales. I tell him real stories about something that happened in my life. When I was a kid, I LOVED my grandmothers tales of her childhood, so I remember that kids want to hear about things and people they know.

Since I've been dreaming of the beach, my brain went straight for a story about St. John---my favorite Carribbean island. Here's how it played out:

D: Once upon a time there was a mommy and daddy that were going to have a baby. Before the baby came, they decided they wanted to take a vacation to rest up and dream about their little boy who would be born about four months later. Do you know who that mommy and daddy were?

C: Yes! You and daddy! And the baby in the egg was me.

D: That's right. You were in my tummy. We went to a place called St. John where they have beautiful beaches and lots of fun things to do. But it got a little scary.

C: What was scary?

D: Well, one day, we decided to rent a boat to ride around to other islands. A little while after we got on the boat, I realized we had a problem.

C: What was the problem?

D: Well, there were medium sized waves. And as the boat rode over the waves, it would slam onto each of them and the whole boat would shake really hard. Over and over again. BAM BAM BAM BAM.

C: So?

D: Well, when a baby is in your tummy, it is bad to shake them up alot. I got really scared that something bad would happen.

C: Were you afraid the egg would fall out?

D: Exactly! And when babies fall out to early it is not good. Sometimes they die. So I was really afraid. But your daddy is smart.

C: What did he do?

D: He realized that there was a place on the boat where I could stand up and hold on to two bars. When I was standing up, the banging of the boat didn't bother me. My legs just absorbed the shock and my belly just rocked up and down gently. That made me feel better and we were able to continue on our trip and have a fun day.

C: What else did you do?

D: Well, we went to an island called Virgin Gorda where they have rock formations that are really cool and we climbed around those. There are little pools of water inside them. They're kind of like caves on a beach with little skylights. Mommy got a little freaked out again because we were doing alot of climbing around with ropes and stuff on slippery rocks and again, I didn't want to fall down and hurt you in my tummy. But, it was fine. It wasn't too hard and the rocks are really pretty.

C: Could you swim in the pool?

D: Yes. It was fun and peaceful.

C: What did you do next?

D: Well we just rode around on the boat. We went to a little island called Jost Van Dyke where they have a famous bar called "Foxy's". We ate lunch there and it was fun to see.

C: It was a bar? (a little anger in his voice, now)

D: Yes--on the beach with a restaurant.

C: Did you drink ALCOHOL?

D: No.

C: (sitting up in the bed, turned to me, and harsh) Well, good! Because after that day if you had spilled alcohol on my egg you COULD HAVE KILLED ME.

Calories and Recompense

Our second weekend of the January International Food Festival featured the nation of Germany. Did you know that 32% of Germany is covered by forests? Bob shared other critical tidbits of information the country as we dug into our brats, kraut, brown butter noodles, white asparagus, and dill bread. The noodles were a sad comprise on my desire to make spaetzle, but I just couldn't pull it together. I ate exactly one asparagus, one inch of brat, one forkful of kraut, two noodles and a bite of bread. At that point, I was done. But despite one 5 year old meltdown over some random event, it was fun. Next Saturday's nation is up for debate---suggestions welcome!

We tried to make up for the butter-fest of Saturday with a Sunday winter hike at Manassas' Battlefield. Connor got to use his new, custom walking stick that Nana gave him for Chrismas. BONUS--it came in handy as a ramrod for loading the cannons on the battlefield with imaginary gunpowder bundles. We spent a bit of time at the Vistor's Center and I caught a few minutes of the ranger tour. Very very interesting. Of course, we northerners call it Bull Run, but don't say that when you are there. Those guys are deadly serious and, I suspect, their loyalties would have lain south of the Mason-Dixon line.

January Is So Boring

So, here's what we're doing in Tatertown to spice things up during the darkest month...we're having an International Food Festival. Every Saturday night we're choosing a country and having a meal that goes with it. We started last weekend with Mexico and we had one of my favorite things from our visit to Cancun---Shrimp Veracruz. It's easy and delicious. Have it with some spicy black beans, spanish rice and maybe a little margarita. Here's the recipe I used from Epicurean. com:


Ingredients:

1 lb fresh shrimp
1 Tbsp oil
1 small onion chopped
3 tomatoes, peeled, chopped (1* lbs)
1-1/2 tsp capers
1 bay leaf
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 large green pepper, cut into strips
2 Tbsp oil
2-3 Tbsp lime juice
1/3 cup minced cilantro


Directions:Peel shrimp, slit backs and remove veins. Refrigerate. Saute onion in 1 tablespoon oil and cook until tender, but not browned. Add tomatoes, capers, bay leaf, sugar and salt. Bring to boil; reduce heat. Cover and simmer 15 minutes. Add green peppers and cook 5 minutes longer. Heat 2 tablespoons oil in another skillet. Add cleaned shrimp. Cook over medium heat until pink. Sprinkle lime juice over shrimp. Add the sauce and heat 3-4 minutes longer. Top with cilantro and serve immediately.

************************************************************

I left off the cilantro. Not a big fan. And I chopped the peppers, rather than using them in slices. I wanted them a bit more cooked. It tastes so bright, fresh, and briny. Admittedly, it would taste even better if you were looking out the window at this:


Ahhh. A girl can dream.

Band Of One Confused Brother

Last month, one morning, I was working out watching "Band Of Brothers". I was watching the chapter where they are flying into France on D-Day and they are parachuting into the French countryside. Connor came into the room and watched it for a few minutes, and honestly, I didn't think much about it. He liked it though (because nothing really bad happened in the bit he saw) and he asked me if he could keep watching it. Bob and I discussed it and decided that he couldn't.

Fast forward to this morning. I'm on the ellipitcal at 6am and Easy Company is in Holland during Operation Market Garden and Bull has just slaughtered a German soldier in a barn with his bayonet. I hear the door creak open and I tell Connor he can't watch. He argues. He leaves. 30 seconds later the door creaks open again (now its a scene in headquarters with no violence) and we discuss and he watches for a few minutes but I chase him away. This happens two more times.

After my workout I'm in the kitchen eating breakfast. Connor comes jogging in carrying his StormTrooper nerf gun at the ready.

C: Mom! Mom! I'm playing "Band Of Brothers".

D: Really? What are you doing?

C: We're getting ready to bomb German airplanes!

D: Are you the squad leader?

C: NO! I'M A CADET!

D: Connor, cadets didn't get to to to war in France. That means you aren't grown up or trained yet. The guys in "Band of Brothers" were trained. If you're a cadet, who's your squad leader?

C: (Cocks his head and looks at me quizzically) Ummm....John McCalin?

So, Sarah Palin in John McCain have been merged!

Honestly, when he's older, I can't wait to watch things like this with him. If you haven't seen it, it is a phenomenal piece of cinema. The acting is spectacular (with a tiny part for James McAvoy before we knew him) and a really exemplary performance from Damian Lewis. I just found out a few weeks ago that he's BRITISH. I had no idea. Idiot (me, not him). I can't wait to work out in the morning to watch some more. And to chase my boy away a few more times.

I Was WWWRRROOOONG (As Fonzi Would Say)

So, off we go to work and school this morning. Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed. This is following a spectacular morning workout on the elliptical watching Chapter 4 of "Band Of Brothers". I'm on an endorphin high.

We get there. No meltdown from Connor. No sadness. No clinging hugs. He stops at his cubby, looks in the classroom, turns slowly to me and says "Momma. You have to pinch me. I can't believe I can go to school today."

Me, on the other hand, I hit the building right around the time the endorphins are trailing off. Forgot the GiggleBytes tuition check in the car which is parked in the farthest row and I'm wearing pointy boots. Forgot Connor's pillow. Seemed so dazed and confused lingering in the hallway after that "pinch me" conversation that one of the teachers actually stopped me, made eye contact and said "Are you okay, Dianna? You look like you're going to pass out." Weird!!

The rest of the day was fine. I found my groove. And Connor was a superstar all day long.

Sunday

We started out the day with some bowling. Connor actually ditched the ramp early on and started really rolling the ball himself. He made alot of progress today. And Bob bowled a 220 game having not picked up a bowling ball in a year. Sickening. After that we made a quick stop at Starbucks for some fuel and then stopped in at Burlington Coat Factory. Since we spent Friday afternoon and a good part of yesterday "de-decorating" from the holidays I'm on an all out hunt for some decent red/pink decor items to line us up for Valentine's Day. I found these dark pink flowers at Home Goods the other day (here I've mixed them in with some purples I already had) and I've been looking everywhere for some similarly toned pillar candles and other tchochkes. Nothing on theme at Burlington, but we did find a great mirror for Connor's room. We headed through Sterling Park and showed Connor both of the houses Bob grew up in. He quickly pointed out that "he must not have been rich". Funny. Sterling Park is pretty dodgy at this point, I have to admit. Finally, I hit the jackpot at Big Lots and got a ton of dark magenta candles for next to no $$$.

The rest of the day promises to be quiet. No cooking tonite--we're having lentil soup that I made on Friday. Connor is in playing Wii Carnival Mini Golf and I'm putzing around in here on the PC. Cheers!

Back To Life

Well, two weeks of no work and no school comes to an end tomorrow. Connor has been counting it down and I think he will struggle a bit tomorrow morning. But I won't. Honestly, I'm ready to get back to our everyday lives.

The holidays were fine this year. They really were. Really, they should not have been. After all, it was our first Christmas without Pop Pop. It was our first Christmas without Buddy sleeping under the tree. It was the last Christmas in Virgina for our friends the Wrights. And of course, it was rife with the usual family drama. But somewhow, we still managed to share some of the magic that comes with this time of year. Connor was thrilled on Christmas day. We had a fantastic visit with the baby cousins, Nana, and Aunt Michelle. And we certainly had a great time on New Year's Eve at our new friends, the Harsell's.

I ran into an aquaintance the other day and asked how his Christmas was and he said "It was great. But its just another day." It struck me as profound, though its something we all know. Every day of life is a crapshoot. It could turn out fantastically spectacular or it could turn out tragically awful. The holidays are not exempt from this cosmic truth. We all spend alot of money and time to make them special, but it could all still be blown to smithereens.

I'm a person who looks forward and seldom laments the past. I am so grateful for whatever mixing bowl of genetics, environment, nurturing and experience has provided me with that character trait and brain chemistry. I'm excited to get back to real life tomorrow. Because I love my real life.

2009 promises to be an exciting year. Connor's second season of T-ball will start in March. We're planning a last "during the school year" hurrah trip to Disney in May. Connor will finish six years at Westfields Play and Learn in June and he'll have some fun camps to go to in July. I'm planning on taking several weeks off during the summer as well and we'll try to squeeze in a beach vacation. Then, in September, first grade begins.

For everyone out there who begins "real life" anew tomorrow, enjoy today. And enjoy tomorrow, too.

Spicy Candy Cane

Connor woke up this morning raving about a crazy dream he had. I couldn't get alot of details but the jist of it was that he had a big-ish candy cane that when you cranked the top of it spicy "stuff" would shoot out the bottom. He told me several times that it was really weird and good and that he made everyone's pancakes "super spicy". He's sitting in the living room right now clutching a candy cane. Ha!