Really?

Babies need cologne? I had no idea. Found this at WalMart. It smells like....baby. If you are a baby and you need cologne, why would you want it to smell like...baby?

Half Way

This past Thursday marked the half-way point of my materntiy leave. Palmer is six weeks old. As is always the case, the time has flown by. I feel so lucky to realize that this is the case and I am absolutley savoring every single moment. I'm also reminded of it every time I see my boys together. Connor is SO big--he's an actual BOY now, not a little boy anymore. And it shocks me to see how much he's grown. He was out in the driveway with Bob last night and they were setting off fireworks. I was in the upstairs bedroom watching from the window with the baby, so I couldn't hear any sounds. Because of that I could really just watch body language and I noticed Connor's very acutely. He moves like a grown person now. There's no child-like tentativeness about him now. He's confident and authoritative in command of his physical presence. I guess I never really noticed this as a change that comes with the movement from young childhood to older, but I definitely recongize it now.

Palmer is thriving. He's a pleasant, sweet baby. Of course, right now, his primary goal is to breastfeed as much and as often as possible. I wander around the house in a wet shirt much of the time. He, unlike his brother, has had no problems "latching on" and I am making a plethora of milk. He hasn't had formula at all, except for a few times in the hospital before my milk came in. I am absolutely delighted by this. (That picture above is Connor feeding him some pumped milk for the first time--which Connor really enjoyed.) Feeding Connor was such an emotional roller coaster--he couldn't latch on. I didn't make enough milk. I couldn't pump any milk. That's not to say that its all clover fields and and water troughs on my dairy farm over here. Palmer has some pretty significant intestinal gas issues. And by significant, I mean PAINFUL. He screws up his face into a big red knot and screams with every single fart. As a result, and because we figured out too late that Connor had a similar issue, I have given up dairy food in order to reduce lactose and the protein that causes milk sensitivity in babies-sodium caseinate. It seems to be working and though he still suffers through regular gas passing--the duration and intensity of the agony are much less when I don't eat dairy. Thought it sounds fairly straightforward, its a challenge because milk is in so many things. I won't go into a big list here, because it makes me sound resentful and I'm not. I'd give up anything if it made Palmer happier and caused less pain.

Palmer is also proving to be fairly flexible. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that with positive influence from his family, that will continue. He goes everywhere with us and seldom fusses. I shopped for 90 minutes yesterday with Connor at Costco and Palmer slept through the whole thing. Later in the day I went to the Home store, AC Moore, and Harris Teeter with barely a peep out of him. As long as he's fed, he's happy. I do notice, though, that he's not a fan of his car seat if the seat is NOT moving. Connor wasn't like this--he loved being rolledup in that car seat. So, I've learned not to put him in the bucket until we're really walking out the door. And of course, if we're shopping and he's in the bucket, there is no lingering around to read labels or gaze at things. Grab your product and keep the cart moving is the mantra.

And of course, the big question everyone asks when you have a newborn is "Does he sleep through the night?" OF COURSE NOT. He's a breastfed baby. That means no big bottles at bedtime to tide him over. That means that the snacking continues. He does sleep well, though. He spaces out his hunger a little further to 2.5-3 hours at night. And once he eats for about 10 minutes, he falls right back to sleep. So, its not that awful. I have my iPod and I watch TV shows during the night when he's awake or when I can't fall back to sleep. Palmer and I have set up camp in the guest bedroom so that Bob can get a good night's sleep--its not like he could get up and feed the baby for me, so why should we wake him? We have a nice little nest, the baby bird and me.

Speaking of sleeping, this is another thing that is different than it was with Connor in that we are making a concerted effort to keep Palmer sleeping independently. I'm doing this out of love and respect for my husband and to maintain marital harmony---not because I necessarily think its the right thing to do. I believe in the family bed and I think its horrific to force little babies to sleep alone. No disrespect to those of you that do--you have to do what works for you and getting sleep is very important. But I never found sleeping with my child disturbing to my rest--quite the opposite. Connor slept better and as a result, so did I. However, when he got bigger it was an issue (kicking, rolling, etc.) and it was somewhat difficult to move him out AND he still is conquering the "going to sleep alone" thing. So, the compromise is that Palmer is in a co-sleeper NEXT to the bed with the eventual intention to move him to his crib if its not traumatic for him. Actually, he fell asleep in his crib the other night. I found Connor's mobile in the basement an hooked it up and Palmer seems to love it. Anyway, we're finding our way through the sleeping issues just like everyone does with a new baby.

The next six weeks will fly by just as fast. We've got them packed with a trip to NJ, baseball camp for Connor, and two full weeks in Orlando where Palmer will get to meet his other family. Then, when we return we have two weeks to get ready for the new normal. I hope those ladies at Wesfields are ready for Tater Tot--The Sequel!

Overall, I have found Palmer's babyhood to be much easier than Connor's. Though, I think that has alot to do with the "you know what you're doing" factor, I also think that my overall attitude is much more relaxed. Season that with the fact that I KNOW I'll never have another baby to enjoy and it makes the things that freak you out and wear you out much more tolerable. But when those moments come, I sing this song in my head and they pass quickly. Because I really do know that it won't be like this for long.

Hello World!

Coming Home

Here we are during our last few minutes at the Birthing Inn. What a great job they did of taking care of all of us.


And here's Palmer coming into the house with Daddy and big brother for the very first time.

Connor made Palmer a Welcome Home banner. How cute!

Here's hoping we have a fantastic Baby-moon over the next few weeks!

Shot Of The Day-Brotherly Love

Happy BIRTH day Palmer Ellis Tate

This is the way your BIRTH day went (according to your Mother!).

Nana and Aunt Dee arrived yesterday and came to help Daddy take care of Connor while you are born and we are in the hospital. You were scheduled to be born via caesarean section at 9:30am at the Loudoun Hospital Center Birthing Inn, but they called us at 7am and told us to come an hour later because they had an emergency. That was nice because it let us have a little bit of a slower morning and it let us take your brother to the bus stop together. Everyone at the bus stop knew that you would be coming today, so we got lots of well-wishes for your arrival. This is how we looked when we headed to the bus stop.

After we dropped Connor off we came home, got our stuff, and headed to the hospital where we waited in a room for the OR to get ready for us.

We got two great people to take care of us...Shanny (on the left) who gave us our anesthesia and Lisa (in pink), our OR nurse who was with us for the whole thing. She held me up when they put the needle in my back and she held my hand when I needed her. Shanny also took very good care of Mommy's neck during the surgery and made sure that I was comfortable so that I could see you when you came out. The OR is really COLD, so they kept me wrapped up in warm blankets, too.

As soon as I was numb and all set up, they let Daddy come into the OR. And then they got started right away. It seemed like in just minutes, you were out. They let Daddy take some pictures of the actual surgery. They were a bit worried that Daddy might get queezy or faint but he was not bothered at all. Here's the first one of you. Its a little bloody, but I love it because you make that motion all the time--two hands out in a kind of modified "hook em horns" position:

I am amazed every time I look at this picture. Amazed at you. Amazed at modern medicine and how EASY this seemed. Amazed at the length of your umbilical cord!! They showed you to me very quickly. Daddy cried. Alot. He was very happy and very emotional. His glasses got fogged up and at one point the doctor said "Oh, God, Bob. You'd better sit down!". Too sweet.

After that, they took you to the baby warmer to do your check up. You weighed 8 pounds, 10.6 ounces. You were 21 inches long. We have lots of pictures of this and your brother particularly likes looking at the one where they are taking your temperature in your butt. This shocks him and when we tell him they did the same thing to him when he came out he CANNOT believe it.

While they checked you out, the doctor finished my surgery up and then she went to check on you. Here is a great picture of you, and the beautiful Dr. Thompson (who also delivered your brother the same way).

Then, I went to the recovery area while Daddy went with you to have your first bath.

I was in recovery for what seemed like a really long time. My blood pressure cuff wasn't working correctly and they couldn't "release" me to my room until they could get a final recovery blood pressure measurement. So, someone had to run around for awhile to find another cuff. One funny thing that happened is that Dr. Thompson came back to see me and said "I'm not here to check on you. I'm just here to report that Bob has finally stopped crying!" All the ladies in the hospital LOVED your Dad for being so emotional and excited to meet his son.

After that, they took me to our room where you were waiting peacefully with Daddy. And, at last, I really got to hold you. Here we are, back together again!

We rested for a little while, but after dinner, you got to meet your brother, Connor, who absolutely could not wait to see you. When he walked in the room, he barely even looked at me and just wanted to get right over to you in your bassinet. Here's how he looked right when he walked in the door. He was a man on a mission.

He couldn't wait to see you and to hold you. He's in love with you just like Mommy and Daddy are.

And here's our first picture as a family.

Welcome to the world, little man. We're so glad that you're here. We'll do our best and love you no matter what, no matter where. Thanks for making our family even better.

Pop!

We've taken no pictures of my belly at all. Until now. Last Thursday they estimated his weight at 8 lbs 7 oz. Seems like a rational estimate to me. Despite the fact that this is scary to see, I really feel pretty darn good. Lots of energy, though I do need to sit down and rest every few hours. And I managed a full Costco run yesterday with no help and the hindrance of Connor needing to be "in the cart" so that he could watch a movie he rented on his iPod. So, add 65 lbs to the cart that needed to be pushed and I think my endurance is pretty unquestionable. Its good to be sturdy.

T-5 Days

Baby's room is ready! Diaper bag is ready! Car seat is installed! Stroller is assembled!

Our surroundings are prepared--even if we're not.

And you have to at least give me credit for TRYING to make polka dots work in a boy baby's room. I know its a stretch...but they are boy colors!!

Nesting

Before we had Connor, we had what we called the "Pre Peanut Project List". That thing lived forever and evolved week after week. Now, TaterTot 2 is almost here and we've got the same thing going on. A list is constantly revised and sits on the kitchen island and we heartily cross of items as they are completed. I used to go back and look at the list we had going for Connor and laugh about it. But our PC crashed and its gone. So I'm saving the new ones here. Its a glimpse into psychosis. This is last Sunday's list. And yes, #25 is a joke. In the midst of it all, we did manage to do it, though. So, we figured we might as well give ourselves credit for it.

You Know You're Big and Pregnant When...

You arrive for a business meetng a few minutes early and a other participants are in the room. You put down your notebook, pen, and Blackberry and say "Hi everyone. I'll be right back. I just need to run to the Ladies Room". And someone quickly says....."YOU CAN RUN??"

Yes. Yes I can. But only in cases of impending death by fire or a major predator. And even then, its not pretty.

Fluid Check

My fun 4D sonogram last Friday detected a problem. I'm on the low side for amniotic fluid volume. I had never even heard of such a thing.

Amniotic fluid is important. Its what the baby "breathes". It allows them to move around. Not enough of it can endanger them in all sorts of ways---from lack of growth, to low muscle tone and skeletal development, to really scary things like cord compression.

Panic level for amniotic fluid index (AFI) is 5. I was at 7 last Friday. I could tell something was wrong because of the way the sonographer kept taking clinical pics---not just fun ones. Lo and behold, the doctor called on Monday and broke the news.

So, the course of action has been for me to "lay low" for a few days and drink plenty of water--even though they're not really sure that makes a difference. I've been compliant and worked from home since Tuesday and consumed enough water to drown a village. I get a repeat sono this morning and we'll see where we are. I don't know much beyond that.

I do know that he's really busy in there. His movement doesn't seem restricted to me. And if you could see my abdomen, you'd never suspect there was a "low" anything going on. It is massive.

UPDATE 3/19: Went for repeat sono and fluid was up to 9.7. Great news. But the doctor warned me that I'd need to take it easy. So, from now on, I'm only working at the office two days a week. She nicely reminded me of my "advanced maternal age". I'll be good because, first of all, I want to keep this baby cooking for the appropriate amount of time. And second of all, I don't want him to come early and screw up our summer vacation plans!!

The New One

I honestly can't say much about this beyond.....

Wow.


He wasn't too cooperative. Kept putting his hands up in front of his face like a boxer. Wouldn't you know it....this was the last shot she got.


Wow.

Progress Report

I am now 27 weeks pregnant. I went to the OB today for a checkup and I have have just started the phase where you have to go in every two weeks. Doctor happy today=I lost 5 pounds. She was getting pissed off at my eating so I switched to lettuce at lunch and now she's happier. Doctor NOT happy today=I am anemic (again). This happened when I was pregnant with Connor and it was pretty profound by the time we figured it out and I had to go on prescription iron/vitamin c pills. This time we caught it early which is good. When you get it late its hard to build it back up. So, its on to iron supplements (on top of the iron in the prenatal vitamins) for me. And more spinach and garbanzo beans.

Next Friday I get my 4D sonogram and DVD. Should be fun to see the Pumpkin and I can't wait. And, we've now scheduled my c-section for May 20th. So the boy will share a birthday with Joe Cocker and Cher. I'm on the schedule for 9:30am and Dr. Thompson, who did my first c-section, will do this one as well. I couldn't be happier with this plan. I absolutely loved the controlled, predictable environment of the operating room and had a great, pleasant experience. And recovery from that was better than recovery from my hiatal hernia repair/lapband surgery. The 20th is a Thursday, so I'm thinking we'll come home on Sunday or Monday and he will sleep in this cool new thing I found:

Its called "The Cocoon" and I just love the concept of it. Rock a bye, baby!

Good Morning

Walking into Connor's bedroom to wake him up yesterday....

D: Good morning, Sunshine. ( I sit on edge of bed. )
C: Ummmmmm. Ughhhhhh. Grrrrrrrr.
D: Wow. Its late. You're sleepy this morning (Patting, scratching his back)
C: Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Ughhhhhhh. Ummmmm.
D: I think you feel sleepy because you slept really well.

He rolls over and the eyelids flutter.

D: You okay?
C: Yes. Good morning, Mommy.
D: Do you feel like you slept well?
C: YES. But how did the baby sleep last night?

Raising Cain-The Sequel

I have been reading the book "Raising Cain-Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys" over the past week or so and am really finding it interesting, insightful, and valuable. Lots of things to think about in the way we program our sons to become men. And lots of things to fear.

It was a fitting book choice. We found out on Thursday that our new baby is a boy. And he's got some long, skinny feet--see pic above. Connor came with us to the sonogram and it was exciting. Now, the name hunt begins. This time, we are telling no one in advance. No one.

Open Up

Tuesday afternoon. Kitchen. Thundering feet run in from the family room.

C: Mom! Mom! Come here!
D: What? (turning to face him)
C: Bend over and open up your mouth! (urgent sounding)
D: What? Why?
C: Just do it! Bend over to me and open up your mouth.

Anticipating some grossness will be inserted into my mouth for some deranged 6 year old boy taste test---I resist.

D: I most certainly will not. Why?
C: Because I need to talk to the baby and it can hear me better that way.

Ahhhh.

Questions About The Baby

I'm going to keep track of them here and I'll edit/update as necessary. I'll not include the ones that you'd expect, such as whether or not its a boy or a girl or when its getting here. I know some of these are comically ridiculous, but trust me, they are real.

1. How big is the baby RIGHT NOW?
2. If its a girl, can she play baseball?
3. Mom, will this baby like horror movies?
4. Mom, if its a boy, can we name it Connor after me?

The Big Shocker

So, that's my uterus up there. And as you can see, it is occupied. Occupied by a very serene looking 12 week old fetus who had pretty bad case of the hiccups when I got to see it on this sonogram about a week ago.

This is a big shocker. A big one. There was no plan for this. There was no remote idea that this would happen. When we found out, it took Bob roughly 14 days to be able to speak in complete sentences. But, God or Nature works in mysterious ways and its going to keep things exciting in Tatertown for quite awile. And my fingernails will look great for another 7 months or so!

Pretty much everyone knows. But we'd held off on telling Connor, mainly because we wanted to get through that first sono and some genetic testing to make sure everything was on - track. But we decided to tell him over Thanksgiving dinner---since what do we have to be thankful for that is possibly more exciting than this?

Coincidentally, I heard a radio show yesterday with a professor from George Mason who talked alot about mindfulness and "being in the moment". I tried to really focus on the interchange between the three of us on this topic, but I have to tell you that it was pretty exciting and it made it challenging. Below are bits of the interchange. Maybe I've got the order wrong, and I'm leaving out the unimportant bits.

To start with, I bought a little baby doll which I tucked under Connor's napkin on the table. We're sitting in a booth and he's inside next to me. He sits up, sees it, grabs it and looks at us and says:

C: What is this?
B: What do you think it is?
C: A doll
D: What do you think it means?
C: I don't know.
B: Take a guess.
C: I really don't know.
B: Connor, you're going to be a big brother.
(Connor's eyes widen and he looks at me puzzled.)
C: What? Huh?
D: Yes. You're going to be a big brother.
(He's still not speaking. His mouth is hanging open. He's holding the doll on the table.)
B: Connor--Mommy is pregnant. There is a baby in her tummy.
C: WHAT? WHAT? YOU ARE PREGNANT? OH MY GOD I AM FREAKING OUT.
(He's breathing heavily. Then, suddenly, he rolls his eyes back in his head and flings himself backward onto the booth bench and then slides slowly under the table. Bob and look at each other and laugh.)
B: Connor, get up.
D: Come on out, honey.
(He slowly climbs out.)
C: YOU ARE PREGNANT? REALLY?
(His voice is high-pitched and stressed)
D: Yes. Really.
C: Let me see that belly. I want to see it.
(He reaches over, lifts up my sweater wrap, and starts to poke and prod all over my abdomen.)

At this point we have about a minute long conversation about how big the baby is right now, etc.

C: Someone needs to take me outside RIGHT NOW.
B: Why?
C: BECAUSE MOMMY IS PREGNANT AND I'M FREAKING OUT AND I NEED TO SCREAM.
(He's smiling and then again does the eye roll and body fling.)

After this, things go on similarly for awhile. He calms down a bit and starts telling all the servers in the restaurant that I am pregnant. We finish up dinner with more joyful hysterics and then Connor and I head to the bathroom on our way to get the car.

In the bathroom, he's calm by now. We're alone and its quiet. He looks up at me.

C: Mom--you're really pregnant? This is not a prank?
D: I'm really pregnant, Connor. Really.
(I now can show him my mildly swollen belly. He touches it gently for the first time. He looks up at me again and looks serious.)
C: Mom. Congratulations.
(He wraps his arms around me and gives me his best hug. I squat down to get on is level and hug him back.)
D: Thank you, Connor. Congratulations to you, too. We will all do this together as a family.
C: I know mom. And when this baby gets here you can love it as much as you love me.
D: Oh, Connor. I'm gonna try. But I love you an awful lot.
C: I know. But we will try.
D: We'll try. But one thing will never change.
C: What?
D: You'll always be my FIRST baby.
C: I love you, Mom
(He is looking at me so seriously with such an eye-lock. Its like a real, adult interchange.)
D: I love you too, baby. Thanks for already being such a great big brother.

We head to the car. When we get there he insists on opening the other side door and telling me that "this is where the baby will sit".

Overall, one of the best nights ever. Don't you think?