Top Boob

Doing laundry today.  Connor is sorting his basketfulls on his bed.  He comes across one of my t-shirts in his basket by mistake.  He brings it to me in the other room:

C:  Uh.  I think this is yours.
D:  It is.  Just throw it over the rail out there in the foyer.  I'll get it.
C:  (holding shirt up to his chest)  Wow. Your neck is humongous.
D:  It is not!  That's a v-neck! (indignant and insulted)
C:  What's a v-neck?
D:  Its a shirt with a big open v-shaped neckline.  Like the one I have on.
C:  OH!!  Its one of the ones you wear and we can all see your top boob.
D:  What?  What did you say?
C:  TOP BOOB.  That's what I call it.

Turns with a shrug and walks away.

Two Funny Things

1. Today Bob referred to the movie "Caddyshack" as venerable.

2. Connor had a stomach ache this afternoon and Bob was giving him a bit of a fatherly lecture about eating so much crappy food and how if he ate better he wouldn't be sick. Curled up on the couch, miserable, Connor listens and when the speech is done he croaks "Mom, can I have a carrot?"

All About ME, By Connor Tate

Hey, CRAZY world!  Before I tell you my name, do you want to meet the coolest third grader, well, here I am.

I'm Connor Tate.  I have brown hair and sharp blue eyes.  I am 57 inches tall.  I'm white skinned.  Also, I'm eight years old.

I was born in Virginia.  My family members are me, Palmer, sweet Mom and my energetic Dad.  However, I have no pets because they died.  I used to have NICE pets.

My favorite color is blue.  When I grow up I want to be a STRONG football player on the Redskins.  I want to play at QB.  When I am at home I like to play Wii.  I will not always pay my Wii.  I sometims play my Blue DS.  In addition, I like cheasy pizza.

I hope you liked my descriptive writing about me.  By the way, I might write another one soon.  Good bye.  I hope you love learning about the AWESOME Connor Tate. 

Real Life Skills

"Clueless" is one of my favorite movies.   Its loosely based on Jane Austen's "Emma"--a great story.  It is loaded with funny lines and memorable quotes.  One scene, though, has always stuck with me.  Its a scene between Cher and her father, Mel, a high-powered attorney. They're discussing a grade on her report card.  Here it is:



Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C+ to an A-?
Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion, you proud?
Mel: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.


My big son and I enacted this scene today in our kitchen.  This week's play at Fakespeare Theatre Camp is "Sherlock Jester".  Some kind of mash-up of Sherlock Holmes and some Elizabethan court jester.   Yesterday Connor said that he had the lead role of  "Sherlock" but that he had lost it because he was yelling too much and instead would now be playing a more minor role of "Tweedle-Dee".  He said it was a boring role but didn't seem concerned about the demotion.  Neither of us dwelt on it.

Today I asked him how rehearsal was and he advised me of the following:

I am the lead, now.  Sherlock.  I am the lead because I begged and begged and the kid that was doing it after it got taken away from me for screaming wasn't really liking it and he decided to do a VERY VERY VERY nice thing and give it back to me and now he is going to be the Narrator.  It will be written on the back of the "thing" (I think this means the Program) that he did a really nice thing.  Isn't that really nice?

I know my boy.  And so, I'll interpret this all to mean that he WORE THEM DOWN TO NUBS OF HUMAN FLESH with constant wheedling, whining, negotiation, and threats of walk-out.

That kid will be getting a present from Connor on Friday.  Of that you can be sure.

There are negative words you could apply to him in this situation:  Conniving.  Aggressive.  Spoiled.  
Certainly, depending on where you know his heart is, a stranger could use those words.   But his heart is in a different place and I would use the words:  Tenacious.  Convincing.  Confident.   Hopefully, all of this will come in handy some day.