Always A Hindrance To Me

Saturday evening Connor and I had a date to see "Alvin And the Chipmunks-The Squeakquel" and we were headed to Red Robin to grab a quick bite before the show. On the way out of our street we came to a STOP sign and were faced with a gold minivan that was already stopped there, kind of in the middle of the road. They did not proceed after several seconds then, suddenly rolled about 6 feet forward before stepping on the brakes again. Then, their reverse lights came on. Then they went off. Then they did nothing again. Since they're sitting in the middle of the road, and its a skinny road, I can't get around them. So, I enjoyed the opportunity to justifyingly honk my horn and say aloud (inside the car where only Connor can hear me) "Come on people! Let's go!!" They took the hint and moved on and proceeded to follow the exact same route we were on out of the neighborhood. At some point near the Greenway a car got between us and I lost sight of them. Minor neighborhood traffic frustration. Not even worth remarking about....normally.

However, in the 2-3 minutes of the drive after the "no-go" incident as we proceeded to Red Robin, Billy Joel's "She's Always A Woman To Me" was playing on the radio (lyrics here if you need 'em). As is typical, I sang along.

So, we pull into the Red Robin parking lot just as the song is wrapping up. The lot is pretty full and its one of those incredibly stupid loopy parking lot layouts that you find everywhere around here. So, I'm kind of circling around heading to a few empty spots I could see in the distance. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the NO-GO GOLD MINIVAN. Which, now is sitting perfectly still in the middle of the too-skinny-to-pass aisle near three open spots which I can't get into because they're blocking my progress and I can now see that its a middle aged woman driver with husband in the passenger seat and two kids in the back. I wait a reasonable amount of time and still they do not move and I really just don't want to honk again but I do say aloud "Jeez, Connor, this woman is horrible!" and here's how it goes from there:

C: What woman?

D: That same woman in that minivan blocking us at home. She's blocking me again. She's a horrible driver.

C: Well, if you ask me, the woman in this song sounds pretty horrible.

(I snap to reality and out of my road rage.)

D: What do you mean?

C: What kind of a woman carelessly cuts you and laughs while you bleed? That's horrible.

(Now, I'm kind of chuckling.)

D: Well, honey, he doesn't really mean that literally. He means that she hurts his feelings and doesn't really care.

C: Yeah, but then she throws shadows at him? How does she do that? That doesn't sound nice.

D: Well, again, he doesn't mean that exactly. He probably means that she acts mysterious and does things he can't figure out. Songs are like poems. The words don't always mean exactly what they sound like.

C: Well, I don't like that. You should just say what you mean. Right?

While all of that is going on she moves her car and we park. The conversation ended there and that was it. But wouldn't you know it, when we got into the restaurant that family was in front of us at the hostess stand, confused, trying to gather their children and decide where they wanted to sit. This time, we had room to go around them. So we did.

Raising Cain-The Sequel

I have been reading the book "Raising Cain-Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys" over the past week or so and am really finding it interesting, insightful, and valuable. Lots of things to think about in the way we program our sons to become men. And lots of things to fear.

It was a fitting book choice. We found out on Thursday that our new baby is a boy. And he's got some long, skinny feet--see pic above. Connor came with us to the sonogram and it was exciting. Now, the name hunt begins. This time, we are telling no one in advance. No one.

No, Mrs. Schwarz, Thank YOU

I found a website with great kids handwriting paper for holidays. So, over our break Connor wrote some nice thank you notes to his classroom teacher and his reading teacher and we attached a picture of him and a gift card. Yesterday in his reading bag we found the thank you note above from his reading teacher, Mrs. Schwarz. Or, as Connor likes to say "Mrs. Shorts". It made Connor's day and it made our day. How nice of her and what nice things she says.

She's a great teacher and aside from reading, I can tell that what she really teaches is self- confidence. Connor's reading has improved dramatically and he's excited to read and proud of himself. And that's in large part due to Mrs. Schwarz' hard work.

Note to Connor-Someday when you're a big person and you're reading all this stuff Mommy put in the blog, I hope you see this post and realize that one of the reasons you can read it in the first place is "Mrs. Shorts."

Its Not Over 'til It's Over

It is January. I am not supposed to still be baking cookies, am I? The holiday cooking time is past, isn't it? Not for me.

The graveyard of sugar cookie gingerbread men you see above were mixed this morning and rolled and baked tonight. They are for Connor's classroom holiday party where the kids are decorating them. I volunteered to make them BEFORE Christmas when I was off work, etc. But because of the blizzard, school was closed on party day and it has been rescheduled for this Friday. So, here I am, flour covered hands, rolling cookies on a weeknight.

And, wouldn't you know it, I need 36 of them and the batch only made 30! So, whilst baking those men above, I had to make a whole new batch of them to yield 6 more of the sons of bitches. Ahhhhhh. Serenity now. Serenity now.

Of course, I'm responsible. Despite my constant admonishing of my fellow working moms to NOT VOLUNTEER for this stuff, the call for the cookie baker was like a siren of the sea calling to the lonely sailor. I had to answer it. Sucker.

How Touching

This post goes into the category of items that I've been meaning to blog about but keep putting it off. But, its back to regular life of work and school tomorrow so there is no time like the present.

Don't look away from that scary photo. Connor, Bob and I had to to look at it for two months. It was created for a specific purpose--to track Connor's behavior in a grand endeavor to earn himself an iPod Touch. He'd been asking for one since late summer.

The concept was simple enough. Earn enough good behavior points to deserve it. The tracking was simple, too. Even if it looks awful. Every day he could earn a possible total of 13 points. He had a morning section, a school section, and a night time section. He did really well on his mornings and pretty well a school. We probably gave him too many freebies on the nighttime stuff such as "no whining about homework" or "picking up toys". But overall, I'd have to say that it worked out pretty well. He had a time limit--he had to earn 400 points by Dec. 22 or it was a total washout. He just made it---and a bonus 10 points for a great report card helped push him over the top.

Every few days we would total what he had earned and he would color in the thermometer. You can see a point on there just above 300 where I wrote "Cheater" on there one night when he went past the line for the amount he had earned. And you can see that in the categories on the bottom I had to circle "Pick Up Toys" since that was something he really struggled with and we've had to talk about it repeatedly.

I'm working on some shorter term behavior tracking programs for the next month or so that are different, more focused, and continue to be positive. Though I think many parents are good at this intuitively, we definitely need structure around positive reinforcement around here. We need to be reminded to talk about the fantastic and just every day good stuff that our boy does vs. just freaking out over the messy, loud, bad stuff. Being positive definitely works for Connor and it definitely makes our house a happier home.

He's loving his iPod. He's got lots of SpongeBob on there, Avatar, Camp Lazlo, and few movies. He's got some great fun games, too, like JellyCar. But most of all, I think he's proud of himself--and that's what's really Touch-ing.

Chilly Con Taters

It is cold right now. I mean cold cold cold. I don't think its been this cold since Connor was born. Last night we grabbed some dinner, ran into the mall, and ran into Wal-Mart. And when I say "ran"--I mean it. The thermometer on the car said it was 21 degrees. But with the wind chill--and it is windy--the weather person said it felt like the single digits. I agree.

This chilly development leads me to a discussion of winter coats and the wearing thereof. Personally, I'm not a fan. Sure, if I'm going to be outside doing something, I'll bundle up the same as anyone else. But I find the donning of a heavy coat for daily transit to be more trouble than its worth. I can't BEAR to drive the car while wearing a coat. I just don't do it. So, if I have one on, it comes off as I get in the car. So, if you do the time vs. exposure +/- aggravation calculation, I'll generally just throw on a wrap and do without the coat. The 30 feet to the car in the driveway is a cinch. And let's face it, the couple of hundred yards from the car to the front door of my office building can be brisk, but its manageable. So, I run alot.

My son has inherited or observed his mother's position on this issue. He really hates putting on his coat. For the bus stop, he's good. He gets that he's going to be outside for a few minutes and its worth it. But, just like me, he just does not want to put one on for in and out errand running. Case in point--last night as we parked at WalMart.

B: Connor--put on your coat.
D: Yes, put on your coat. (In my defense, I had mine on!)
C: No. I don't want to.
B: Seriously. Put on your coat. It's freezing.
C: Listen, its not that far!
D: Connor, just put on your coat.
C: Look at the door of the store. Its not that far. I CAN HANDLE IT, LADY!

Yeah. You probably can.

The Ellie Badge

During the holiday movie extravaganza that has gone on around here, Connor and I watched the movie "UP!". Here's the e-mail I sent to my friends on the issue contrasting Connor's reaction to this movie and to the action movie "Avatar" that we had seen two days earlier:

We watched "UP!" last night. I'd like to kill myself. He was so upset. He was sobbing like I've never seen him sob. He just kept saying "It's so sad, Mama" over and over again. I had to stop the movie until I could get him calmed down. Apparently, the destruction of obviously imaginary blue jungle people is no match for the death of a beloved loved one. And now, I have to find a bottle of grape soda with a metal cap because Connor really needs an "Ellie badge". He had to sleep in my bed last night--still sobbing--to go to sleep.

In the movie, Carl and Ellie, who share a lifetime of love, meet when they are kids and she pins a "badge" on him to signify that he is a member of her club. The badge is a grape soda bottle cap on a giant safety pin. Connor was particularly fixated on it. He would not let me stop the movie credits because he was sure that they might show the "Ellie Badge" again. I promised to get him his own.

So, yesterday I went on-line to look for the image of the badge. In the course of that research, I found out a few interesting facts:

1. Many other parents have been on a quest to do the same thing. Make the Ellie Badge.

2. Costco gave a way actual Ellie Badges with the movie "UP!" when it was originally released on DVD. You can buy one of those badges now on eBay for the low price of $265.

3. People really really really loved this movie. The number of posts in the blogosphere on it are astounding.

I started out with just printing it out, coating it with packing tape, and using double stick tape to adhere it to the boy's chest. When presented with this pale imitation, he was happy enough, but wanted to know where mine was "because, Mom, you're in the Ellie club, too". But I had no time yesterday to do more---except, pick up a nice fourpack of FeverTree Tonic water with some nice gold metal caps.

Yesterday I got serious.

I shrunk the image to fit using Photoshop, used special metal glue to attach it, and used a non gloss mod podge to smooth the image to fit the caps. I found the giant pins at Harris Teeter (unbelievably, as I was sure I'd have to go to a fabric store) and attached them by creating foam loops that are mounted on the back with that special metal glue.

Connor hasn't seen them yet. Today we'll have a pinning ceremony for our own little Tate brand of the Ellie Club. I'm sure you'll see me at Target wearing mine.